when others don't support our decisions

When Others Don’t Support Your Life Decisions

Making life decisions can be a daunting task, especially when we care about the people in our lives. It can be disheartening when those we love and trust don’t support the choices we make. Whether it is about our career, education, relationships, or lifestyle, not receiving support from those closest to us can cause a lot of stress and anxiety. In this article, we will explore the reasons why those we care about may not support us the way we’d like and how we can cope when others don’t support our life decisions.

Reasons Others Don’t Support Your Decisions

There are many reasons others don’t support our decisions and it’s impossible to truly know why without them telling you. They may not even know why themselves. Following is a list of some of the common reasons why others may have a difficult time supporting you.

  1. Different Values and Beliefs: One of the most common reasons why those we care about don’t support our decisions is because of differences in values and beliefs. We all have our own set of values and beliefs that shape our perspectives and decisions. When our values and beliefs clash with those of our loved ones, it can lead to disagreements and misunderstandings. For example, if you want to pursue a career in the arts, but your parents believe that a career in medicine or law is more secure, they may not support your decision.
  2. Fear and concern for our well-being: Another reason why those we care about may not support our decisions is that they are fearful or concerned about our well-being. They may worry that we will make a decision that will harm us in the long run. For example, if you want to move to a new city without a job lined up, your friends and family may worry that you won’t be able to make ends meet or find a job.
  3. Jealousy or resentment: Jealousy or resentment can also be a factor in why those we care about don’t support our decisions. Sometimes, people may feel envious of the opportunities we have or resentful of our successes. This can cause them to undermine or dismiss our decisions. For example, if you have an opportunity to study abroad, but your friend can’t afford to do so, they may downplay the value of the experience.
  4. Applying their Prior Experiences to Our Life: When others have had failures or rejections that were hurtful, they may want to protect you from those failures and rejections. Sometimes those we care about are not supportive because they are putting themselves into the equation of your decision. They are thinking about how they might feel or act in that situation and not how YOU might behave or feel. It might sound selfish but their heart is in the right place. For example, maybe they wanted to move to another state, tried it, and it didn’t work out for them. Now you want to move and they are applying their experience to your life.

It’s important to not get too caught up in the why. If you believe they are jealous when really they are concerned for your welfare, that could negatively impact your relationship with this person. Because our beliefs so greatly impact our outcomes, it’s a good idea to believe their intentions are good.

Learn more about how your beliefs impact your life here:

How Beliefs Affect Behavior

What are Limiting Beliefs and How Do They Impact You

When You’re Surrounded by Negative Thinking/Toxic Relationships

5 Ways to Cope When Others Don’t Support Your Life Decisions

Now that we have identified some of the reasons why those we care about may not support our decisions let’s explore how we can cope and find the support we need.

  1. Be confident in your decision. It’s essential to have confidence in your decision, especially if it’s something that you feel passionate about. Remember that you are the one who has to live with the consequences of your decision, and it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. When you’re confident in your decision, it’s easier to communicate it to others and answer any questions or concerns they may have.
  2. Communicate effectively. Effective communication is key when it comes to gaining support from others. It’s essential to express your feelings, thoughts, and reasons for your decision in a clear and respectful manner (learn more about effective communication here). Be open to listening to their perspective and concerns, and try to find common ground. Avoid being defensive or argumentative, and instead, seek to understand their point of view. Learn more about active listening by watching this brief 1-minute video.
  3. Seek support from others. If you’re not receiving support from those you care about, it’s essential to seek support from others. Talk to friends, family members, or mentors who have experience in the area you’re making a decision about. You can also join online support groups or seek guidance from a professional counselor or coach.
  4. Take care of yourself. When we don’t have the support we need, it can cause increased stress and anxiety. Make time for self-care and personal reflection. This may be as simple as taking a walk and getting exercise or practicing mindfulness and meditation.
  5. Trust yourself. Ultimately, you need to trust yourself and your ability to make the right decision. Remember that you know yourself and your situation better than anyone else. Trust that you have the skills, knowledge, and resources to navigate any challenges that may arise.

Remember, this is your life and you are here to live your experiences. Your decisions may be scary and they may not even work out. That’s all part of the life experience. Trust yourself enough to have the experience and know that whatever happens, you’ll be able to recover. When we don’t have the support of others, it can cause anxiety and a fear of failure.


Not receiving support from those we care about can be challenging, but it’s essential to remember that we have the power to make our own decisions. By being confident in our decisions, communicating effectively, seeking support from others, and trusting ourselves, we can find the support we need and navigate any challenges that come ourRegenerate response

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